Miracle Story #15 (Part 2 of 3)
“After I had to stop nursing Carter, my doctor said, “Try right now. You’re in the best position if you want another child, so try right now.”
So I found myself on my knees again and I said, “God, I lied. I want another baby. I know I told you that if you gave me this one, that I’d never ask again. But I had no idea what I was saying. And I know you put this desire in me to be a mom. And so now I’m back.”
So we began to try. And the years started passing and I was in the same place. And I remember thinking about how I’d known people that had been infertile and then got pregnant two times.
Could we just do that?
I am hard-headed. The only time God ever gets my attention, is when He brings me to my knees. And I wish I wasn’t like that.
But I guess that over the years, I do think that has changed some. I recognize things in everyday life more than I did. When I was younger, I was twenty-four when I had Carter, it just seemed like when things were good…
It wasn’t that I denied Him, but it was like we were going through the daily motions and I wasn’t necessarily seeking Him each day. Unless something was going on.
Of course, if it brings you to your knees, then you’re right there asking.
So we tried and we tried and we tried, and I could not get pregnant. We went back to the doctor. I had more surgeries, but now we lived here and I had a new doctor.
And she asked, “Well, have you ever tested your husband?”
So I was like, “Oh no, it’s me. Stage four endometriosis. I have horrible problems, etc.”
And she goes, “Well that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have a problem.”
And I thought, ‘Wouldn’t that be terrible...’
Sure enough, we went and got him tested and he had a complete varicocele. It’s like a vein that literally just shuts things down.
So we went to the doctor and he literally goes, “Is he yours?” pointing at Carter.
And I was like, “Excuse me! Yes!” (laughs)
And he was like, “Well I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I just meant that I didn’t know if you had a child before you got married.” He didn’t know our history, if Carter was adopted or anything.
And I was thinking, ‘You have no idea about that.’
So I said, “No, Carter is his.”
And he goes, “That’s a miracle.”
“Well yes, we know that. In many senses of the word, that’s a miracle.”
So my husband had to have surgery to correct his problem, and I had to have surgery again. We had surgeries timed at the same time to hope for the best.
And nothing happened.
So finally I just broke down and made an appointment at the fertility clinic. That would be our first time at the actual fertility clinic.
I walked in to make the appointment saying, “These are what I will do. This is what I won’t do.” I had it all written down.
It takes months and months to get in to the fertility clinic. It’s all out of pocket. And of course we were still in the same financial position at that point in our lives, but we were just going to figure out how to make it work.
So I made the appointment and it was for like, six months down the road.
I was a temperature taker. It’s not enjoyable. You work hard at trying to get pregnant when you’re infertile.
And on the morning of the appointment, I woke up and I was like, “Ha ha funny story, I should be starting my period today. Wouldn’t that be funny?”
I literally should have a degree in fertility. You just learn everything over the years.
And I remember saying to Chris, “Ironically, my temperature is up. Wouldn’t that be crazy?”
And Chris just kind of laughed and said, “I’ll see you there at nine.”
And he left to go to work.
But it was just eating at me. And so I was standing there getting ready to get in the shower and I was thinking, ‘Would I be crazy to take a test?’
Because again, this would be the second time in my life that I would have taken a test, the first time being when I was pregnant. Even through what at that point, would have been five years of combined infertility.
And I just felt like I should.
So I took the test, set it on the back of the toilet, and got in the shower. I really kind of forgot about it, because I kind of just checked it off my mental list.
I got out of the shower and was getting ready. And then I turned around and looked at it, and there were two lines.
And I was like, “What?! No way!”
And I get goose bumps still, just talking about it. (laughs)
I just stood there for a while. And then I literally got on the phone and I was like, “Chris!”
And he goes, “No way!”
I didn’t even tell him I took it. He just knew it in my voice.
And he was like, “We’ll just go to the appointment anyways.” He’s always Mr. Reasonable.
So I ended up calling the clinic and I was like, “Okay, I am not kidding, but I just had a positive pregnancy test.”
And I could hear the ladies in the office so excited. I told the lady on the phone that I didn’t even know what to do because we had waited so long for the appointment.
She told me to go to my regular doctor and have a blood test. In the meantime, they were going to bump my appointment back and move some people up because they didn’t want me to lose my spot if something was wrong.
So that’s what we did.
And we walked out of there and Chris was like, “Okay, we’re just going to wait for them to call. Let’s go to Target or go to eat or something.”
And they called. And sure enough, I was pregnant.
I was like, “This is the craziest thing on the planet.”
And so I called the infertility clinic back and they congratulated me and then cancelled my appointment.
Again, I was high-risk so I had early sonograms. And I went in for my six week appointment, and they couldn’t find a heartbeat. Not even with an internal sonogram.
The doctor told me that I probably had already miscarried and that I just hadn’t had the obvious symptoms of that yet.
She said, “If you don’t start bleeding and passing tissue in a week from now, come back and we’ll schedule a D&C.”
So I went home. And I could not accept it.
I just wasn’t okay with that.
No miscarriage is ever asked for. And I was like, ‘God. It took me three and a half years to get back here.’
I had told the girls in my Sunday school class to be praying. So they had been praying. And the night before my appointment, one of my girlfriends called and asked me to come over.
And when I got there, there were probably thirty women there.
And they said, “We’re going to pray for you. This isn’t over until it’s over and God can do anything.”
And so I stood in the middle of this room, with thirty women around me, praying for this baby.
I left there, literally excited. And I was thinking, “He’s going to do another miracle. I feel it. I’m going to go there tomorrow and everything is going to be okay.”
And so I went home that night. I slept for the first time in a week because I hadn’t been able to sleep. You know, at night you just think about everything.
So I go in there.
She turns that machine on.
And immediately, there is his heart beat.
And I looked at Chris and I was like, “This is a miracle.”
I one hundred percent believe with everything in me, that without that prayer…
Prayer changes things.
And I don’t think people believe. I don’t know if they don’t believe it, they want to.
In your heart, do you really believe that? Do you really believe that you can petition God?
He gives us free will but He also knows everything. It’s a hard concept, don’t you think? It’s a hard concept to know that He already has everything planned and He knows…but prayer can change things.
And maybe He knew I was going to do that. Maybe He knew already…you know what I mean?
It’s a hard thing. It’s a circle.
But in that moment, I knew that God never asks us to just sit back and just say, ‘Oh whatever.’
If I have a friend with cancer, you’d better believe I’m the one saying, “God, I am ASKING you to heal her! You’re going to do your will. But I BELIEVE, with everything in me, that my prayer makes a difference. And so I am going to ask you. Your will is going to be done but I am going to storm the gates of heaven because I know…that prayer changes things.”
And so that’s what we do.
And that is a moment that He taught me that.
It was a moment that would forever change me because I believe that his heartbeat wasn’t there.
It was an internal sonogram. They should have had a heart beat at that time with an internal sonogram. It was six, six and a half weeks when they did that sonogram. And I was certain of my dates.
It wasn’t a mistake.
It wasn’t too early.
It was a miracle.
So I walked out of that appointment and I immediately just started calling the ladies that had prayed for me.
I told them, “Your prayer saved my baby. Because of your belief and faith and your love for me and my family, this baby has a heartbeat today. And I’m not having a D&C.”
And I never had another problem that entire pregnancy.
I got the ability to vomit. (laughs) I got what I wanted.
Every time I smelled chicken, and every time I had to see raw meat, or there were certain meals that we used to love that Chris would be making, I couldn’t stomach it.
And while miserable, I was thankful every time I threw up.
“Thank you God.”
And I had a child at that point and so there he was, running around. And I’ll never forget, he wanted fish sticks and peas every day for lunch and I would run over to the sink and I’d be thinking, ‘I love you Carter. I’m making fish sticks and peas and throwing up in the trash can.’ (laughs) Too funny.
But Cade was born. Almost four years after Carter.
Now I’m the woman that never would find out what she was having. And I was sure I was having a girl because the pregnancy was different. I was sick. I carried different. Everything was different.
Nope.
And I mean, when they pulled him out and said, “Boy,” I was like, “No. Wait. What?!” That is how convinced I was. I was so not prepared for it. (laughs)
It was so funny.
And to watch my older son walk in to the hospital room to see his brother, at the age of almost four…Cade was born in November so it’s two months shy of four years between them.
Those moments are miracles too.
To see how God is so faithful.
Carter was so huge and there I was holding this baby. And I always thought, like every mom probably does, that you can’t ever love anyone as much as you love your first child…until you have another one.
And I remember thinking, ‘How does that happen?’
This love that I had in that moment for both of them, to watch the interaction between them, was such a gift.
A gift that I never knew I would experience.
Cade was super healthy. And we just kept him off of milk and stuff because of Carter’s problems. And he was the most laid-back, easy baby. He could lay on a blanket. I could just leave him there for ten hours and that child was just so laid-back and so different than my experience with Carter. (laughs)
Carter was so sick all of his first year and I didn’t know how to handle this child that was just so easy.”
Part 2 of 3. To be continued…January 17th.
© 2016-2017 by One Million Miracles. All Rights Reserved.
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My name is Laci, and I live in Kansas.
In the midst of years of infertility and adoption, I AM Miracle Story #15.